scratch

Scratching as a Form of Grace

I don't feed my Haflingers treats. Instead I scratch their itchy spots
as a reward. It is my manipulation of their second most primal need
(the first being to satisfy their stomach's hunger)--it is to fulfill
their desperate need to have their itches scratched, even itches they
had no idea existed until I found them. I suspect we all have a few
"hidden" itches that we never knew existed until someone finds them.
And there may be a few we wish to keep hidden.

Grooming behavior in horses is one of the earliest things they learn,
other than the submissive "chewing" that youngsters do whenever they are
faced with a new or older horse. I personally think that the grooming
of and submission to more powerful, more assertive and older individuals
is a very wise strategy. So "scratching" your dam with your teeth while
she "scratches" you, and then "scratching" the cranky older gelding, and
then "scratching" that bigger stronger half-brother makes sense, because
you become a very desirable companion and are less likely to get hurt.
And with any luck and skill at all, you get "scratched" back just as
nicely.

Ideally, we should be all pleasantly scratching each other, right? I
should tell you what a great job you are doing, and what a great person
you are, and hopefully you'll return the favor and the compliment. But
it doesn't always work that way. There is very little good scratching
going on in our day to day lives. Instead, we are often tortured by our
itches that we can't reach ourselves, and have no buddies to scratch
them for us. Or we are continually "scratched and clawed" in a painful
way by people who care not at all about how they are hurting us, but
want to put on the appearance of being a good "scratcher" yet instead
they become really ugly in their efforts and leave scars.

My weanlings are learning a new lesson now that they only have me, not
their mother, to scratch with. They are learning that they can't
scratch me back, because I don't like being nipped and chewed and their
mouths are not allowed anywhere near my skin. But I love finding their
itches and helping them relax and enjoy being scratched without
reciprocating. What a tough lesson though! There are times we simply
have to accept the pleasure of the scratch, be grateful, and not have to
give back the gift we've just received. It's called grace. Accepting
grace as freely given fills us with gratitude, humility and desire to
serve. And that, I hope, is what my Haflingers feel, in their own way,
as well.

Let's scratch each other gently, perceptively, honorably, humbly. There
are times when we simply must receive and be grateful, learning to keep
our teeth and mouths to ourselves. After all, knowing how to receive
the gift is the first step to understanding what it takes to give it.

Emily Gibson,
BriarCroft